lemonyandbeatrice: when white guys are like “man I wanna kiss a black girl and taste that sweet chocolate” I just wanna go oh yes I taste like chocolate I’m so glad you recognize that and mmmm I wanna taste you too. can’t wait for the taste of baking powder and oppression.
padalikey: ohana means family and family means shut the fucking door when you leave my room or i’ll fucking stab you this is the last fucking chance you little shit
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
You can always tell the age of someone by their...
RED, THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN TEA, A DRINK WITH JAM AND BREAD
ohsallyhasslefrass: I thought you were pizza when you walked in…
When you think you are being productive but in...
This one time in High School
there were red kiss-imprints on the mirrors in the girl’s bathroom. Each morning the janitors cleaned them off and each day they would reappear. One day the mirrors remained kiss-free and in their place was a note that read: “We clean the mirrors with water from the toilets.”
poopinginschool: interviewer: any special talents? me: